be-one

to be able to stay in one piece, i have to be aware, be conscious all the time, my heart should beat at a certain speed, shouldnt slow down, my blood should keep my veins tense. wondering, is it the speed that keeps me together? the speed of life? laying this soul into sleep doesn't do good. everymorning i am looking for my pieces in the bed to put them back together before i get up, as if it may hurt all day, if i jump out of the bed suddenly, leaving some of them behind.

but knowing a broken bone heals to a one firm bone at the end, i am hoping me to become a one firm piece, too.